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Before that, you are encouraged to date, but not exclusively. We married in early 30's. Funny thing is he told me when we met that he was ready to stop focusing so much on work and start focusing more on his life. That desire that they be someone other than who they were when they married you is toxic to a relationship. Then again, I doubt any man who's not in medicine is willing to put up with the sacrifices of being a neurosurgeons husband. That means that we are always changing and growing. I agree with what you and so many of the other replies have said: Listen with an open heart and curiosity. I keep getting job offers from China and Japan while I truly struggle to find work here in the states.
Thanks so much for all the time you've put into your replies. Maybe more convinced than you are. I can honestly say this isn't worth it.